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Expressing Love languages (words of affirmation)

Hello you, It's been a long month! A lot has happened during the week, good and funny ones I must say! In all, I'm having a good ride.

How have you been? You know better not to beat yourself up about unachieved goals right? We go AGAIN, and AGAIN!
This week, I'd be talking about "words of affirmation" and a couple of ways we can properly relate with people who have that as theirs.

I've always wanted to talk about this, because somehow, love has a lot of drama inside it, lol. Love language is one of the many drama. It won't be weird for me to think that we all know the five kinds of love language, but for a refresher, I'd tell you again. They are;

  • Words of affirmation
  • Physical touch
  • Quality time
  • Act of service
  • Receiving gifts

Even if some school of thought argue that there are more, I personally think these five cuts across the basic. I'm focusing on "words of affirmation" because that's mine ๐Ÿ™ƒ.

Love language is simply how you qualify a person's physical expression towards you.

For instance, I quickly assume a person who bathes me with affirming words, likes me because that is how I measure love/like. Comprendรฉ?

A word of affirmation can range from a simple thank you, to a long positive note with affirming words.

Growing up I would nag my mum for not saying thank you when I did something really good, I mean if she can criticize and tell everyone she knew how I failed at chores, why can't you use the same energy???? Right?
My sister left for NYSC, the cooking mantle fell on me, so last week I put my energy into making one wicked waterleaf soup. The soup was quite nice, trust me to wait for my showers of praise. I waited thirty seconds and I couldn't keep my cool for another, "the food is sweet now o, nobody go compliment me?" Jumped out of my mouth. I look forward to compliments a lot, you'd be shocked at how it elevates my spirit!

Affirming words are uplifting, it edifies your spirit. Most times, you'd be shocked at how it takes all the exhaustion away like magic (Prov 16:24).

Love languages isn't restricted to lovers alone, friends and even colleagues can improve cordial relationships by simply utilizing these gestures when necessary. When it became clear to me that I was a sucker for compliments, while I waited earnestly for my dose, I dished some out too. In other words, you can express your love language to others because although some are specific to others, everyone loves a good gesture.

Ways to express words of affirmation as a love language to others

  • For every compliment, add a little extra; As simple as this is, it can do a whole lot. To take "thank you" a step further, you can add "you did it so well".
"Thank you, you did it so well!"
 
"Looking good! This tie makes you look absolutely bomb!"

You're not flirting, we are just adding spice to the soup. One time I complimented a friend's perfume (he smelled so nice that day), other time he applied the same perfume, my subconscious wasn't triggered anymore so I didn't produce a compliment. Guess what, one day he stylishly said "Henrietta, I applied so much of that perfume today, but you didn't compliment me!"


As funny as that sounded in my ears, I learnt how much value a simple compliment has. You should try it.

  • Leave a message. This is something very big in the eyes of anyone whose love language is affirming words. Leave a text, or a note. It can be really sweet. You don't have to write so much, but hey, DON'T LIE! lol. It should be heartfelt, so the truth is just fine. It can be as simple as; 

"just to let you know that your smile lights up my world, go on today, and set the world ablaze with it. Just kidding! Still, do not forget to take the light along with you. The world could use some of that"

 Or

"The world needs more friends like YOU. if NOT you, then WHO? Thanks for being a rare gem"

Or steal their pictures, use them on your blog, and write a thank you paragraph for them in the same post! Gee, friends like Doo.

Ways to express words of affirmation as a love language to self

I read somewhere once, that It makes sense to exercise your love language on yourself too. I subscribe to this because even as a believer, I always use God's promises and pleasant words on myself. I can go on and on to tell you how that improves my mood and my personal perception about my self as well.

Occasionally, I stand in front of my mirror and say something nice. I compliment ME. When I cook something really tasty, or when I KNOW that my outfit is bomb, I spend a couple a minutes dishing myself some very good compliments. It's therapeutic!

I like receiving gifts too (we all do anyway), last Christmas when I got myself a pair of shoes, I accompanied it with a note. Hand written for me, from me! It was funny but it felt so good. You can try that. Even when it's just lunch, ask the vendor to add a note (you know you'd tell them what to write too right?).

You cannot lack simple words to say to someone you care about, in fact, the more simple and sweet it is, the better.

Everyone has a love language that resonates with them, find out and express it with glee.
Now that you know mine, I'd like to know yours!
Do you know yours? Well share!

Was this helpful? Share your thoughts and the post as well!


Stay blessed. Oh! I've got a few words for YOU...

"I hope you know that YOU'RE one amazing person! Thanks for sharing your eyes, mind and time. YOU inspire me. ❤"

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Comments

Efe said…
Well, love language, I've never really given it a serious thought as to which works best for me. I guess I really have to now, especially as you've written so beautifully about the subject.

I guess mine cuts across all the listed points...A little here, a little there๐Ÿ˜Š I know you'd say there has to be one or two that goes best, right? Well, I must have to really think now.

Let me quickly state here that if anyone goes better for me, it's definitely not 'words of affirmation' like yours๐Ÿ˜Š Maybe because I'm usually self motivated, I guess.

Impressive piece of writing!
Henriquetta said…
Let me laugh first! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I like how you responded to your questions yourself, it takes the burden off me a little. Still, I second the fact that you think about yours, it's also possible not to have a specific though... I know people who don't. You'd be fine I guess! Oh wait, you don't need that.
You're self motivated. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Unknown said…
So I saw the link on Twitter and I must say this is the most captivating article I ever read. Simple, nigerian style... I felt like I was talking to you. I love this.
Anonymous said…
Wow. Thanks. Indeed, good compliments are like gifts. Who is he who doesn't like one? Thanks for inspiring me again with you beautiful, rich and classic notes. Plenty of hugs!!
Henriquetta said…
Thank you so much! You're doing the most out of my love language๐Ÿ˜‹☺. I'm humbled.
Henriquetta said…
Right back at you! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—
I'm happy to have earned the privilege of your time. Thank you so much!☺
nwanya-kiri said…
Well ... This is good ..
I must say I really suck at these languages.
I'll work on my self.
Thanks.
Henriquetta said…
Awwww, I can totally understand . Thanks for stopping by, and I know you'd do just fine.
Henriquetta said…
Laidis n gentumen... Doo!๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜‚
Na you na, queen of the "pamper me to death" kingdom, I wasn't expecting a single language preference before...
Thanks B๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜Š
Israel said…
Hi Henrietta it’s been a while love this it’s apt and realistic

something in me has been awaken thanks.