On Self-Realization (Dear younger self)

Hello virtual readers, we can all agree that a lot has been happening lately and we are currently doing the most to stay sane. I'm even more perplexed that a girl was outrageously killed by someone probably younger than her for the simple crime of looking for a job.

A large number of people my age are home doing nothing and it's not a public holiday.

I've been thinking about my self more than I usually do, like a self appraisal to measure growth.

Not coming from a place of defeat, I'd like to say I had great hopes for myself, and this has made me think about my younger self for a while now with mixed feelings - happiness and sigh. Watching the final episodes of Suits, the part where Louis in a therapy session, reconnected with his younger self to overcome his fears made so much sense to me.

Now, to my younger self, I have got a couple of things to say to you. Here it goes

Dear Younger self,

Please smile, or I'd give you a knock! 

Talk more, just say anything. You know how we didn't give in to childishness because we wanted to be all grown and savouring the freedom that comes with it? Well I wish we did. Play! Play!! Play!!!

Enjoy the company of others and stop isolating yourself. You know how you were plagued with the thought of people not going to give you a chance to get to know you because of how bad our skin looked? Well you've got FRIENDS now. Friends who genuinely love the content and the container.

Attend that class party, graduation, social day, any chance for you to put yourself in people's faces. That idea of YOURSELF you let your mind meditate on is FALSE.

About principles and resolve? Girl... you'd be shocked at how much CHANGED. I don't know what mood this should come in because I know how absolute you were about these things. However, we BROKE SOME, OUTGREW SOME, and I'd tell you what happened to the rest soon.

Sis, we're single and broke... GUESS WHAT?! You eat beans now! Lol. PLAY IN THE RAIN, I hate that we didn't get to do it as much as the other kids.

I've got so much to say to you, best part is we GREW (still growing) and everything you wanted to be then... you are now. I wish you didn't beat yourself for this then because all it took was TIME, A LOT OF IT.
Decision making is HARD, please enjoy it while daddy is still doing it. The person you couldn't stand then, the one you always picked a fight with because you keep thinking she oppresses you, cares the most about you now (sorta).

Henrietta, you're fighting tougher battles now, I wish I loved you then, as much as I do now. I also wish I wasn't so hard on you, let you live without so much fear. Quit sulking, your uniform didn't look as bad as you always thought it did.

We haven't marked a major milestone, but I make sure to celebrate little wins immediately mummy stopped celebrating your birthday.

I'd write to you again soon.

Yours ever so faithful

Henrietta.

Today, resolve to writing little notes for your older self. Keep them in a jar, only to open when you hit a milestone or a couple of years after. Life gets tougher I tell you. Even for someone like me who doesn't WANT SO MUCH!

All I know is: IT GETS BETTER.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

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